Coincidence?

It seems whenever I make a move toward coming further out of my shell, something unexpected happens that tries to put me back into the closet. I made the decision a few days ago that I would no longer live a hidden existence online... that basically I would be out as a gay man online. I had previously been open on this blog about my sexuality, but I decided to take the step of putting that information on my Facebook profile... and also to finally begin looking for a relationship.

For those that don't know... I'm still kinda religious, even though my religion says my desire for a relationship is an abomination and I'm going to hell. Yet I still agree with most of what the religion preaches and I attend church every week. No one there knows I'm gay for obvious reasons.

Tonight I attended church for the first time since my decision to begin being more active in my search for a relationship. And what does tonight's service theme happen to be? The Christian Family... and even mentions in the sermon God's definition of a family. In the past that would have been enough to push me back into my shell and completely reverse my decision to start a relationship. Not this time. I'm tired of being alone.... tired of living someone else's idea of how my life should be. I am going to stay outside my shell.... continue searching for a boyfriend... and I will NOT be afraid.