This one is very easy for me... because without her, I doubt I'd be writing this blog or be as open as I'm being. She was the first person I came out to... my best friend for over a decade now. We drifted apart at times, but always manage to find one another...
This one is gonna be a bit of a long post to give you a back story of how we met. So rather than have it all on the main blog, I'll put it after the jump. ;)
I use to work in a computer store... just a small company of about 8 stores in Tucson and Phoenix. I was a Store Manager at one of the Tucson locations when Corporate decided I would be of more use up in Phoenix at the headquarters. And so began the search for my replacement. I really wasn't in on the hiring phase... but it would be my responsibility to train whomever they hired. It turned out they hired 3 people, as both assistant manager positions were also empty at the time.
One of the people they hired was Janell. We immediately hit it off... so much so that I'm afraid I neglected giving proper attention to the other trainees. Anyways... it was in the course of training her that I found out she was married... to another woman. That revelation floored me at first. I guess my upbringing (deeply religious) told me to be shocked... but then my inner voice spoke up and said "See? You can be successful and happy and still be gay." I still wasn't ready to admit to anyone... let alone myself... that I might be gay. I remember Janell asking my point blank whether or not I was and I went on auto-responder and said "No" without even thinking about it.
When I moved to Phoenix, I still talked with Janell a lot. And I was thinking hard about my life and how it was going, what I felt inside, and about what I had learned from Janell. It took about 6 months... but I finally came out to her. I was going to drive down one weekend and visit her at the stores, but she managed to weasel it out of my over the phone. She always was good at that... never could keep anything from her.
Well after I came out... to her and to myself... I felt an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. And I can truly say that if I had never met her, I probably never would have come to grips with being gay. I'd still be living closeted, unhappy, and most depressing of all... someone else's idea of what my life should be... not my own. Janell truly has made my life worth living... but more than that. She's made me more me.
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