I really want to get back into CounterStrike with Jerimy and Janell, but it's becoming so impossible with my current job. I mean everytime I think I've got time to start up something, I get slammed with a new project, or someone has had ot change their schedule around. The latest upset now puts us down an employee! Leaving us stretched VERY thin on perrsonnel.

Janell has told me repeatedly that I need to find another job. But I'm too stupid, I suppose. I have very low self esteem as far as what I'm worth in the job market goes, so when I get a job, I stick with it until that company goes under or fires me. (So far that's the only times I left jobs.) And now I make so much with this company. I've moved up the ranks for Assistant Manager, Store Manager, Corporate Assistant, Corporate Manager, to basically second in command of the whole company! Going to a new company would seem like starting over...and taking a pay cut...which I can't afford to do. I mean I make good money for what I do. And even if I wanted to go out and get another job, when would I have the time to interview.

I rambling again, I know. But this is my blog. :) But I guess this whole thing stems from a comment Janell sent to me last night. That I didn't have time for her anymore. Which unfortunately is the truth. But each time someone says it, it pisses me off. Not necessarily at the person who said it, but at my whole situation. And how their just doesn't seem anyway out....until this company goes under...or fires me.