30 Days of Truth - Day 05: Something you hope to do in your life.

For this one... let's throw out all the improbable options... like "Win the Lottery" or "get into bed with a celebrity crush".  (which, honestly, I probably have a better chance of doing than winning the lottery...)   Something I hope to do in my life... how about something really simple that has eluded me thus far.  Find a boyfriend that loves me for me... and spend our lives together, openly and without fear.

This kind of brings together a few previous days of truth and actually seems like a good thing to start the week on... with a recap of a couple days from last week.  On Day 3 I said I needed to forgive myself for living a life in fear.  When I started back at this blog, I made the decision to no longer hide.  I decided I would change my Facebook profile and start coming out of my shell more.  And I'm happy that I can say I've kept that up.  I'm happier in who I am these days... and it's also kick started me on the path to losing some of that fear and finding someone to love.

On Day 2, I mentioned I love change... this decision to finally "digitally come out" was not an easy one... but a necessary one. Because while I've been pushed back into the closet at home... online I'm able to be who I really am... and live a life (online at least) without fear.

Finally on Day 1, I mentioned my indecisiveness... which to be honest is also partially fear-driven.  I fear what the decision may mean for the future.  As an example, I went back and forth with myself about being open online.  Would the old friends who didn't know still accept me?  Would anyone see the posted info that could lead to troubles at home or at work? I eventually decided I HAD to do it... because while my real-life became more and more constricted, I was able to find a new release and be who I really was in the digital world.

All of this has led up to today... Day 5... and what I hope to accomplish with these changes.  I hope to find Mr. Right... not just Mr. Right Now.  I hope to experience a love like nothing I'd felt before.  And I hope it lasts for the rest of my life.